By Adriana Sommer da Costa
Psychologist and Sexologist
For most people, to talk about sexuality is still a taboo, however living in the 21st century, and the reality that society shows us being a lot different with freedom of expression. But the question is whether we choose to talk about sex or not, sexuality is still out there and ingrained. For our emotional well being we need to be aware that the more information on such subject we have, the better will be for us. It will reflect in the way we interact with our partners, friends, kids, for we are here in the world to develop ourselves, which is only made possible through experience and education.
It becomes more and more complicated to talk about sex and sexuality with teenagers (probably most parents think that and they also have some difficulty in this aspect). But, why this happens? Is adolescence such a haywired period? Or they’re feeling so ready for an active sexual life that they don’t need any further explanation?
Let’s see a little more to what happens to this sexual process in the adolescence. During childhood the libidinous necessities were polarized on specific areas of the body like mouth and skin, in the early years of life as well as the anal area, and later on the genitalia around four or five years of age.
By reaching puberty, which in itself brings out an onset of body modifications, caused by the release of sexual hormones, this adolescent will feel stimulated to solve these instinctive necessities, which so far were dormant to this teenager, trying to reach and fulfill his expectations of emotional and genital experiences. Adolescence is marked by a period when all this previous tendency is combined, what results in a particular type of behavior that doesn’t concern only sexuality, but with other aspects, such as interpersonal relationships, at work, which characterizes a social being. Being an adolescent becomes an endless search for a psychological sexual identity, inside a social context.
When it comes to the physical maturation that the adolescent develops for sexual intercourse, it doesn’t happen in such a simple and natural way, since there’s still working the influence of sexual repression. It’s true that in the present times, there’s such a wide spread freedom of sexual attitudes, but the overcoming of such preconceptions didn’t follow the so-called sexual freedom. Sex, the emotional and sexual fulfillment and the life with a partner, still being constant sources of concern, being subjects that worth complete relevance. The lack of harmony and sexual fulfillment, or the existence of problems in this aspects, winds up by developing severe anxiety, in some cases altering our motivations referring to other interests in our social life.
Sexual freedom, highly prized today, perhaps, isn’t so easily enjoyed by some adolescents. Besides, these adolescents are already going through the precocity of sexual intercourse, it is being independent of the degree of knowledge, or physical, and psychological maturity for such initiation. So, while sexual intercourse seems free of any taboos, fears and preconceptions, the social and interpersonal relationship begins to present evident signs of trouble. How can we confirm this? By an increase in number of drugs and alcohol abuse, as well as the increasing rates of homosexuality, promiscuity, unintended pregnancy, STD, and also the high rates of relationship fall outs.
So, now that we realized that the adolescent sexuality is being harmed. The sexual education for teenagers becomes inevitably necessary. Most teenagers tend to think that they know everything about sex, for they talk with their friends, read enough “magazines” about it, watch movies, and so they find themselves sufficiently prepared. However, if we gathered a group of adolescents with two health professionals, a health doctor, psychologist or a sexologist, many doubts would surely appear. So we came to the conclusion that our teens are just crawling in search of information on sex and the adolescent sexuality. And it’s up to us, health professionals to provide the teenagers tranquility and confidence to clear all their doubts. Self-knowledge is the cornerstone to an emotional healthy life. Try it and you will see.