By Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist
teenager’s eager to come to terms
with teens’ sexuality.
However, relatives seek clues on teenager’s
sexuality as well. We could not let our sex
readers down so prompted our sex
knows all for a more enticing time. In matters sex our sex therapist got all the answers.
Despite improvements, talking about sexuality still raises controversy,
mostly when it comes to infant sexuality. Many relatives find difficult
to address sexuality matters by not knowing what to say or what to do
when a child happens to question them about sex matters. Those parents
who caught their kids masturbating or got embarrassed when confronted with questions
like “How was I born?”, “what is sex?”, “why come I have a Willie and
girls haven’t?” often end up not knowing what to do or say.
In the XIX century, discoveries on infant sexuality undertaken by Freud
caused uproar in the conservative society of the time. There used to be believed
on the purity of children, considered almost asexual. According to Freud,
throughout psychological development, a child goes through the oral phase, anal,
phallic, latency, and genital. Each one of these phases would display peculiar
oral phase-(0 to 1 year) mainly characteristics: the mouth as the most pleasure
yielding body part. After all, a child makes contact with the outside world
through the mouth. Being mother’s breast the main source of desire, source of
food and sexual pleasure.
anal phase-(2 to 4 years) when a child finds out that one has control over the
sphincters; the anus turns the most pleasure yielding body part. A child develops
feelings of ambivalence, acquires notions of hygiene. This is a phase of stubbornness.
phallic phase- (4 to6 years), a child’s attention is drawn to the genitals.
Some might masturbate in this phase. Prior children would imagine that boys
and girls had penises, now are faced with anatomical differences, thus creating
“infantile sexual theories”, they
begin to fantasize that girls might haven’t got penises because they got chopped
off. Therein stems the fear of castration. Around this time children develop
the Oedipus complex, whereupon a boy would compete against his father for his
mother’s love; otherwise known as Electra in girls.
latency phase ( 6 to 11 years of age) its main characteristic a shift in sexual libido to socially accepted activities, in other words, the child is taken by
school and social events.
genital phase, from 11 onwards, coincides with the dawn of adolescence
and sexual impulses rampage. A teenager
would seek satisfaction through people outside the familial sphere. Yet, in
this period, a teenager should deal with conflicts emulating sorrow from loss
of the infantile identity, by contrast relatives from infancy, so that assuming
an adult identity in near future. Social and cultural background, financial,
climatic and regional patterns of any given age get to shape up sexuality,
so aforementioned ages may vary accordingly.
Sexuality comes out instinctive. Everybody is born with inapt sexuality and thus sexuality manifests itself throughout phases so far described.
Meaning that the way you live up your sexuality would influence directly in the manner you relate with sexuality in infancy. Values revolving around sexuality are automatically pass along to children in that affecting whether positively or negatively on how they will express sexuality.
Don’t be embarrassed. Be as forthcoming as possible. Try and act casually even so caught up by surprise when questioned about sex. Children are just discovering, bridging over, and widening their horizons.