By Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist
Until the seventies', virginity was held as taboo, a rule that
shouldn't be broken under the sake of suffering social discrimination. Such
rule was rather strict to women. Sexual education was castrating and
young girls were marriage-orientated, under the threat of not finding a good
Until the middle ages, virginity didn't matter much. But after beginning to be employed as a trade off object in financial and commercial alliances amongst members of the dominant class, around the seventh and fifteenth centuries, having a virgin daughter was as honor a factor as prizing for the woman and family, increasingly the dowry. Apart from that, such "hymenolatry", sic, became synonymous of status in all social spheres. By the way, a young girl who had lost her virginity would feel guilty, being discriminated within and outside her family.
Some say technically speaking that "virgin" is the
person who never had sexual relations with penetration, even though having
had oral sex and anal sex. It applies to men as well as women.
Currently many defend the idea that those who already had oral sex and
anal sex are no longer virgins, once already started their sexual lives.
Along with the social-cultural transformations of lately, perceptively,
today an inversion with regard to the theme; being virgin isn't status any longer
and turned out to be synonym of inadequateness and discrimination amongst the
youth. That is right, virginity is out of fashion, and it's squared. Thus, many
youngsters ended up acquainting their sexual lives precociously in order
not to feel different from peers of their group.
This conduct may be explained by the fact that the young teenager
is in need of approval of the group of whose one belongs to. The group acceptance
is corner stones and typical of this phase, in which the adolescent is going
through physical changes, emotional and social that influence directly in his/hers
self-esteem and confidence. So if most of them already had sex, she/he would
feel like doing the same, regardless of being prepared or else, whether or not
feeling desire for the other, disregarding of being his/her will.
There are adolescents who go through this moment-whether or
not loosing virginity, with no further traumas or consequences. In addition,
there are those incline to feel guilty getting in conflict with values that
were passed along their history.
Being virgin is an option. To quite being virgin or not is
such significant decision and individual, therefore nobody has the rights to
interfere in such decision. No adolescent should feel guilty or apologize for
this condition. In order to being, sex as tasty as healthy, sex should be done consciously, safely, with responsibility and guilt free.