By Adriana Sommer da Costa
Psychologist and Sexologist
The sexual debut for both boys and girls comes ridden in curiosity, misconceptions and issues. Though I for one chiefly believe that anything for the first time should follow a look-alike pattern, always overburden with concerns, after all, we’re referring to the sake of a brave new world along with its hidden mysteries.
As for sex itself, expectations mount, mostly because of such deeds might be turning complicated which for all that aren’t so complicated. To bear doubts means normal, even so becoming apprehensive, raising expectations, my goodness; it’s what happens most often, since everything seems such brave new world, unknown, and therein lies so much for anxiety build up and apprehension sprees, when it comes to the first sexual experience.
It’s no use try and envisage a perfect night of loving as far as the girls concern. So because for them sex encompasses everything pertaining the female sexuality.
Noticeably let us not overlook that the concept of virginity changes as far as female and male sexuality concern. Nonetheless, perceptively, the telltale signs preceding the first time being essentially the same. Obviously, in face of the determining physiology, and so existing doubts that become profoundly ingrain for each sex.
The girls’ issues generally are as follows:
Would it bleed at the first time? Whether it bleeds or else, that is not a rule, but in the vast majority of girls there might occur a mild bleeding upon the first sexual intercourse onset. Thus such bleeding so-triggered by the hymen rupture (a fold of tissue that partially covers the entrance to the vagina), same such skin alters significantly from girl to girl, and therefore, whether bleeding it’s not worth the trouble let alone become motif for preoccupation.
Could I get pregnant in the first place?
There is a high degree of risk for certain, so that preservatives should be worn always. Safer sex procedures mustn’t ever get pushed aside, even if it’s the first time.
So what’s the fuss about hymen rupture? There would be possible not to rupture at all, and that is worthless, having said that hymens come in all thickness as well as elasticity and pressure withstand capability.
Does it really hurt so badly? The girl is bound to feel a prickly sensation, somewhat uncomfortable, but all can be explained much as some streaks of apprehension and nervousness, likely not to leave her sufficiently relaxed so that penetration can be performed with adequate lubrication. It all comes with a price as of causing a lot of effort from the partner’s side, which might be interpreted as pain by both newcomers in sexual rapport.
Could I loose my virginity by using my fingers while masturbating? It certainly could happen, if there was ever insertion of any kind with a certain ratio of thrust force inwards the vagina. Though therein also lays a whole concept that one bears about virginity.
What I meant by that, it’s that you could rupture your hymen by employing solely your fingers, and never have had any penetration whatsoever (thorough sexual relation).
From where the boys stand, there isn’t such wide gap of discrepancy, even though culturally-wise, “they are ready to become men”. Yet they too burden their phobias, resents and hang-ups. The first time for the boys bears such significance more incline towards the social side of some such rather than actually an inner-self enlightening, since they need it in order to “feel themselves” like machos, truly men.
The boys’ doubts generally are as follows:
Would I be able to get in there, from the first attempt? The anxiety may well get in the way, but missing the entrance of the vagina never, since it’s the only orifice that can allow the penis insertion. And this does not happen only in the first time of a guy, but might as well in the first time of a new relationship, when intimacy is yet not so well defined. Your sex partner may help you guide your penis, in case it gets a little harder to find it.
Do I have to wear a condom at my sex debut? Always. Wearing condoms would never be unsuitable, even more so since it bears significance of care and respect with yourself and with your sexual partner. Being cool means getting yourself some practice, knowingly how to use it properly, the right timing to put it on, getting well clued up. As long as information abounds, there will be no predicaments. In case of any mishap, hold there and then e restart with repertoire anew, spice up the ambiance again, but don’t forget to wear condoms.
What if I didn’t get a hardon from start? Normal. Act naturally, since it does not mean that you might have health problems. Such difficulty at erection time may stem from anxiety build up as of the moment, easy now, and if ever feeling as if you’d rather try it again there and then, go ahead, but avoid being hasty, as sex calls for calm, most of all in the first time.
What if I come too quickly? Normal as well. As anxiety at this first onset of sexual activity may come alongside, either as lagging erection, or the spree of coming too quickly, this ensues due to lack of experience. It’s kinda hard to keep check on all bodily sensations, but then as time goes by all falls into place.
My first time would be with another guy, what then? Wearing condoms, with total disregard of whoever comes across first sexually intent. In this case, plenty of water-based lube, given the fact that penetration via the anus doesn’t have the same lubrication as its vaginal counterpart.
Ever so gently, anal sex unlikely vaginal sex, takes a certain degree of work on self-assertiveness towards self-relaxation during sexual intercourse. There could be first attempted by fingering it up thus taking from there.